The Musings of a Minister

I hear it often: “My kids just won’t listen.” And while that frustration is real, there’s usually a deeper problem hiding beneath it. The reason many parents can’t get their children under control is because they themselves aren’t under control.

Let me unpack that very loaded statement. Parenting isn’t about managing chaos from the sidelines. Parenting is about leading from the front. You can’t expect your children to speak respectfully if your own tone is harsh or sarcastic. You can’t expect obedience if you model stubbornness (ouch). Telling you’re spouse in front of you’re kids how you “handled” an authority figure tells your kids they can do the same. You can’t expect consistency if your home is ruled by impulse. Children learn by imitation before instruction. They mirror what they see long before they obey what they hear.

Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” When a parent lacks self-control, the home loses its walls of order, respect, and reverence. The result is predictable: children “run rampant,” not because they’re inherently worse than others, but because the guardrails that should shape their behavior were never built.

Start Early—or Sooner Than That

When parents say, “I can’t get my teenager’s mouth under control,” I like to ask, “Did you get it under control when they were eight? How about six?” Usually the answer is no, and that’s exactly the point. A child’s patterns of speech, respect, and obedience are not random; they’re the cumulative result of years of training (or parental neglect).

If we let a sharp tongue go unchecked at eight, we shouldn’t be surprised when it’s cutting and rebellious at sixteen. Discipline delayed is not neutral. Discipline delayed is destructive. A wise parent recognizes that every “small” act of defiance is an opportunity to teach submission, humility, and repentance.

The Call to Lead by Example

If you want a structured, peaceful, God-honoring home, you must lead the way. Structure starts with you. Respect begins with you. Obedience to God’s Word must first be modeled before it’s expected.

Don’t turn a blind eye to sin in your home and call it “grace.” Or worse, “cute.” True grace never excuses sin, it confronts it with patience and love. The parent who refuses to correct rebellion or mockery isn’t showing mercy; they’re abandoning their God-given post as shepherd and guardian.

Build the House You Want to Live In

If you want a God-honoring home, start by becoming a God-controlled parent. Discipline yourself before disciplining your child. Guard your own tongue before correcting theirs. Let your children see repentance, humility, and order in you and they’ll learn what it looks like to follow Christ.

Godly parenting isn’t about control for its own sake; it’s about creating a home where His peace can dwell. That peace comes when mom and dad are submitted to Christ first.

Because at the end of the day, you can’t lead anyone to a place you haven’t gone yourself.

In today’s culture, there’s growing pressure for parents to see their children as their “best friends.” While it’s good for a child to feel close to their mom or dad, Scripture is clear: God did not give us children so that we could become their “buddies.” He entrusted them to us so that we would raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). Friendship is optional. Parenting is a calling. With that in mind, I want to walk through six points related to this:

1). Parents Are Meant to Lead

Children are born needing direction. Proverbs reminds us that “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child” (Prov. 22:15). Left to themselves, they will wander. God gave children parents precisely because they need authority, training, and correction. If we hand the steering wheel to our kids—letting them dictate how the home runs or what rules should apply—we’re not loving them, we’re neglecting them. A child cannot bear that weight. God calls parents to lead, set boundaries, and establish order.

2). Stop Excusing What God Calls Sin

One of the most common mistakes Christian parents make is excusing their children’s behavior instead of calling it what it is: sin. We say, “He’s just tired,” “She’s having a bad day,” or “That’s just his personality.” But when a child lies, disobeys, or shows disrespect, it isn’t simply a “phase.” It is sin.

If we excuse it, we’re teaching our children that sin is negotiable. Instead, we must name it clearly, correct it lovingly, and point them to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Only then will they see their need for a Savior and understand that sin is not just “naughty behavior,” but rebellion against a holy God.

3). Attention Spans Are Not an Excuse

Another common excuse is, “My child just doesn’t have the attention span.” While it’s true that children have different levels of maturity and focus, we cannot let that excuse disrespect, laziness, or disorderly conduct. Scripture calls us to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Prov. 22:6)—and training requires stretching them beyond their natural impulses.

Teaching our children to sit still, listen, and obey is part of discipleship. We are not only preparing them for school, but for worship, for relationships, and for life in the body of Christ. If we shrug off attention and discipline issues as “just how kids are,” we rob them of the formation they need to flourish.

4). Authority Is a Gift, Not a Burden

Many Christian parents today feel guilty about saying “no” or enforcing consequences. But authority, when exercised with love, is a blessing. Hebrews 12 tells us that God disciplines His children out of love, “for our good, that we may share His holiness” (Heb. 12:10). Likewise, parents are called to discipline not because we are harsh, but because we love. Discipline creates security. Rules build confidence. Boundaries teach children that the world is not centered on them, but on God.

5). Friendship Will Follow

Does this mean you should never enjoy your kids? Not at all. You should laugh with them, share joys with them, and celebrate life with them. But friendship grows after respect is established, not before. If you skip over discipline in order to be liked, you lose both respect and true closeness. Ironically, children who are guided firmly yet lovingly by their parents often grow into adults who deeply respect and enjoy friendship with their mom and dad.

6). Direct With Grace

To “make them behave” doesn’t mean ruling with an iron fist. Christian parenting is marked by both truth and grace. We set clear expectations, but we also extend forgiveness. We correct disobedience, but we also point to Christ, who obeyed perfectly on our behalf.

Another excuse we often make is for ourselves: “I’m just too tired.” As a pastor, Sundays leave me emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. Unless you’ve stood in the pulpit and poured out both God’s Word and your heart through two sermons to people you love, it’s hard to describe that exhaustion. But as real as that fatigue is, it doesn’t give me a pass on parenting. I can’t overlook my boys’ behavior just because “I’m tired.” I must still be consistent, still be vigilant. Parenting demands endurance, and when our strength runs out, we lean all the more on Christ, who supplies what we lack (Gal. 6:9).

The goal is not just obedient kids, but children who see in us a picture of God’s wise, steady, loving authority—and who, in turn, learn to submit to Him.

Parents, don’t trade your God-given role for the shallow comfort of being your child’s “best friend.” Your children don’t need excuses for their behavior. They don’t need to direct the home. They need parents who will lovingly confront sin, call them to obedience, and guide them toward Christ.

One of the most powerful tools parents have in shaping their children is consistency—especially when it comes to discipline. Children thrive in environments where boundaries are clear, consequences are reliable, and expectations are consistent. But when mom and dad disagree openly about discipline, those boundaries blur, and children quickly learn how to exploit the cracks.

Why Unity in Discipline Matters

Children are sharp observers. If they see mom and dad disagreeing over discipline, they will notice—and they will test those boundaries. A united front communicates security. It shows the child that mom and dad are aligned, not divided, and that discipline is not arbitrary but rooted in love, wisdom, and agreement. Even if one parent might have chosen a different consequence, the child’s stability matters more than personal preference in the moment.

The Role of Mom and Dad in Backing Each Other

If a father has disciplined a child, the mother’s role is to reinforce that discipline, not contradict it. Even if she disagrees, her support communicates strength and unity. Disagreement should happen later, privately, where parents can talk through their different perspectives and adjust for future situations.

By the same token, if the mother makes a disciplinary decision, the father should respect it and support her in front of the child. To undercut her authority in the moment sends a message that discipline is negotiable, which harms the child’s respect for parental authority.

When a Child is Unruly

This is especially important when a child is unruly. If a father is actively working to correct the behavior, the mother must not undermine him. Jumping in with, “That’s too harsh” in front of the child signals division. The child’s focus shifts away from their own behavior to the parents’ conflict. The same applies in reverse: if mom is taking the lead, dad should not interrupt or belittle her actions in front of the child.

Scripture consistently places the primary responsibility for leading the family on the father (Eph 5:23; Col 3:21). That means when matters of discipline arise, the father carries the weight of final accountability before God. If he makes a decision in the moment, even if the mother might disagree, it is important that she not contradict him in front of the children. Doing so not only undermines his God-given role but also confuses the child, who may learn to play one parent against the other.

This does not mean the mother has no voice—far from it. A wise and godly father will welcome his wife’s counsel, and Scripture honors the partnership of husband and wife (Gen 2:24). But the pattern of Scripture indicates that disagreements about discipline should be handled privately, not in front of the children. In the moment, unity should be displayed; later, conversation and adjustment can happen between husband and wife in love and mutual respect.

In this way, the home reflects biblical order: the father leads with humility, the mother supports with wisdom, and the children learn consistency, security, and reverence for authority.

Communication Behind Closed Doors

None of this means that parents will always agree on discipline. Differences in opinion are natural and expected. But those disagreements must be handled privately. After the moment has passed, parents can talk openly about whether the chosen consequence was fair, too strict, or too lenient. This kind of behind-the-scenes communication strengthens the parenting partnership and ensures greater consistency moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Children do not need perfect parents, but they do need unified ones. A consistent, united front in discipline teaches respect, provides security, and nurtures trust. By refusing to contradict one another in front of their children—and by communicating honestly and privately afterward—mom and dad give their children the stability they need to grow into responsible, respectful adults.

I once heard a preacher say, “I don’t want to go to seminary because I’m afraid it’ll ruin me.” He said it with a grin, like he was letting us in on some great truth. The crowd laughed. I didn’t.

The idea sounds humble. Like maybe we’re better off just sticking with our Bibles and our gut feelings. No need for all that fancy “book-learnin’.” But here’s the thing: that statement is just plain foolish.

Where Does That Kind of Thinking Come From?

Let’s be fair. Some of it probably comes from bad experiences. Maybe someone went to seminary and came back sounding like a robot. Or maybe they lost their passion for ministry and got lost in the weeds of academic debate. That happens. But it doesn’t mean seminary is the problem.

Honestly, most of the time when someone says “seminary ruins you,” what they really mean is “I don’t want anyone questioning how I read the Bible.” They don’t want someone pointing out that their favorite sermon illustration isn’t biblical. They don’t want to find out their theology came more from Scofield’s reference notes, or David Jeremiah’s fictional books and charts, than the Bible. So instead of growing, they just take a cheap shot at education.

The sad reality is, it’s easier to dismiss the school than wrestle with the truth.

Does the Bible Celebrate Ignorance?

Not even close. The book of Proverbs is basically one long celebration of learning. Wisdom, understanding, instruction—it’s all in there. And God doesn’t hand out gold stars for winging it.

Paul studied under Gamaliel, one of the sharpest minds of his time. Jesus didn’t just hang out with his disciples—he taught them, corrected them, trained them. They were students before they were leaders.

And when Paul writes to Timothy, he doesn’t say “just go with your heart.” He says, “Study to show yourself approved.” That means digging in. That means effort.

What Seminary Actually Does

If you’re going to a good, Bible-centered seminary, it doesn’t make you proud. It humbles you. You show up thinking you know a lot. Then you realize you’ve barely scratched the surface. You get tools to handle the Word rightly. You learn history, theology, and how to tell the difference between sound doctrine and made-up nonsense.

And if you’re walking with Jesus through all of it, you don’t come out cold and puffed up. You come out awestruck, cautious, and hopefully a lot more patient with people who are still learning too.

The Real Problem: Pride in Ignorance

Here’s the irony. A lot of the folks who bash seminary act like they’ve got it all figured out. They claim education is dangerous, but they don’t want to admit they stopped learning years ago. That’s not humility. That’s pride.

We’ve got enough social media preachers shouting half-truths with full confidence. The Church doesn’t need more off-the-cuff, under-prepared leaders. We need pastors who know the Word and can actually explain it, not just quote it.

And let’s be real: saying seminary ruins people because a few folks misuse it is like blaming the hammer for the guy who built a crooked house. The tool wasn’t the problem.

If someone says to you, “Seminary ruins you,” ask them this: Does studying the Bible deeply actually ruin people? Or are you just scared of being challenged?

Seminary doesn’t ruin someone. It sharpens them. It roots them. It gives them depth. What ruins people is pride, laziness, and pretending they know everything already.

Don’t fall for the fake humility. Real wisdom knows when it still has something to learn.

In John 2:19, Jesus makes a striking and often misunderstood claim: “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” Those who heard Him assumed He was referring to the physical structure of Herod’s temple, a project that had taken decades to complete. However, as the Gospel narrative clarifies, Jesus “was speaking about the temple of his body” (John 2:21). This statement is far more than a veiled reference to His resurrection. It marks a profound shift in biblical theology, signaling the end of the old order centered on the physical temple and the inauguration of a new covenant reality grounded in the person of Christ.

Jesus as the True Temple

The concept of the temple in Scripture is bound up with the presence of God. From the tabernacle in the wilderness to Solomon’s temple and its later iterations, the temple was the place where God’s glory dwelt among His people. However, these were always provisional and typological structures. Jesus, in claiming to be the temple, identifies Himself as the final and ultimate dwelling place of God with man. As Colossians 1:19 states, “In him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell.” Jesus does not merely represent the temple; He is its true fulfillment.

This theme is echoed elsewhere in the Gospels. In Matthew 12:6, Jesus declares, “Something greater than the temple is here,” referring to Himself. At His death, the tearing of the temple veil (Matt. 27:51) symbolized the end of the temple’s function as a mediator of access to God. The new way into God’s presence is now open through Christ (Heb. 10:19–22). This theological development radically redefines the idea of sacred space and renders the physical temple obsolete in the redemptive plan of God.

The New Testament Understanding of the Temple

This redefinition continues throughout the New Testament. In 1 Corinthians 3:16, Paul writes to the church, “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?” The presence of God is now located in the gathered people of God. Similarly, Ephesians 2:21–22 describes believers as being built into a “holy temple in the Lord,” a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

Most strikingly, Revelation 21:22 envisions the eschatological city of God and notes that there is no temple in it. The reason is theologically significant: “Its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb.” In the new creation, there is no need for a temple building because God and the Lamb themselves constitute the locus of divine presence. This culminates the biblical trajectory of the temple motif and confirms that the physical temple has been transcended by a greater, spiritual reality.

Reconsidering Ezekiel 40–48

Against this theological background, the interpretation of Ezekiel’s temple vision in chapters 40–48 requires careful reconsideration. These chapters describe a temple with detailed measurements, a renewed priesthood, sacrificial offerings, and a river of life flowing from its threshold. Some have interpreted this vision as a blueprint for a future physical temple that will be built in the end times. However, several exegetical and theological considerations suggest a different reading.

First, the vision is highly stylized and idealized. It does not correspond to any historical temple and contains symbolic features that exceed the bounds of literal architecture. The river flowing from the temple and bringing life to the land (Ezek. 47) evokes imagery later picked up in Revelation, where the river of life flows from the throne of God and the Lamb (Rev. 22:1–2). This continuity suggests a symbolic rather than architectural fulfillment.

Second, the New Testament never appeals to Ezekiel’s vision as a prophecy awaiting literal fulfillment. Instead, it consistently teaches that the temple typology is fulfilled in Christ and His people. The idea of reinstituting sacrifices and a physical priesthood is at odds with the argument of Hebrews, which emphasizes the finality of Christ’s once-for-all sacrifice (Heb. 10:1–14). To return to animal sacrifices would be to reintroduce shadows when the substance has already come.

Third, the culmination of Ezekiel’s vision is the renaming of the city as “The Lord is There” (Ezek. 48:35). This name expresses the core theological point of the vision: the restored presence of God with His people. This theme is not fulfilled through a reconstructed building but through the incarnation of Christ and the indwelling of the Spirit. As Matthew 1:23 declares, Jesus is “Immanuel,” which means “God with us.” The ultimate realization of God’s presence is not confined to a geographic location but is experienced in the person of Christ and among His people.

Theological Implications

The significance of Jesus’ statement in John 2:19 lies in its finality. By referring to His body as the temple and promising to raise it in three days, Jesus signaled the end of the old covenant temple system and the beginning of a new covenant grounded in His death and resurrection. The resurrection is not only the vindication of His messianic identity but also the confirmation that He is the new and living temple.

This has profound implications for how one reads Ezekiel 40–48. The temple described in Ezekiel should not be viewed as a literal structure to be built in the future but as a visionary depiction of restored communion between God and His people. That communion is now realized in Christ, who is the true temple, and in the church, which is His body. The eschatological hope is not for a renewed building in Jerusalem but for the consummation of God’s dwelling with humanity in the new heavens and new earth, where the Lord God and the Lamb are the everlasting temple.

Conclusion

Jesus’ declaration about the destruction and rebuilding of the temple must be understood as a central moment in the unfolding of redemptive history. It announces the arrival of a new covenant in which the presence of God is no longer mediated through a physical structure but is found fully in Christ and His people. In light of this, Ezekiel’s vision should be read theologically rather than architecturally. The hope it offers has been realized not in stone and sacrifice, but in the risen Christ, in whom all the promises of God find their “Yes” (2 Cor. 1:20).

There’s a dangerous myth floating around Christian culture predicated on the idea that once you’ve believed something long enough, it must be right. It hides behind phrases like, “I’ve always believed this,” or “That’s how I was taught growing up.” At first glance, this kind of confidence may look like faithfulness, but in reality, it might be resistance to growth.

The Christian life is a journey of transformation, not just in how we live, but in how we think. Romans 12:2 reminds us, “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Theology, at its core, is about knowing God rightly. And if we are not willing to continuously study, refine, and even correct our theology, we run the risk of defending ideas contrary to God’s Word.

The Call to Ongoing Study

Every Christian is called to love God with all their heart, all their soul, and all their mind (Matt. 22:37). That means we don’t get to put our brains on the shelf when it comes to theology. The Bible is not just a source for quippy quotes, it is the Word of God. Studying it deeply and regularly helps us know who God is and guard ourselves against error.

Acts 17:11 praises the Berean Jews, who didn’t just accept Paul’s word; rather, they “examined the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.” If they fact-checked the apostle Paul, we can certainly do the same with our favorite preacher, writer, or social media influencer.

Evaluating Your Beliefs in Light of the Word

We all carry theological “baggage.” Some of it’s good. Some of it, if we’re honest, needs to be thrown out. We must be willing to test our beliefs under the authority of Scripture. Now, let’s be clear: Christians don’t revisit everything. The core truths of the gospel are not up for debate. Scripture is clear about who God is, how we are saved, and what it means to follow Christ. These essentials are the foundation.

But in the non-essentials, those secondary doctrines, church traditions, or long-held assumptions, we must be willing to test our views against the Word. Not to chase novelty, but to pursue accuracy. It’s not sinful to have been wrong. It’s sinful to stay wrong when Scripture shows us a better way.

Which is why regular self-examination matters. In 2 Corinthians 13:5, Paul says, “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.” Growth in godliness is often tied to growth in theological accuracy. As we learn more of who God is and what He’s said, we are conformed more into the image of Christ.

Don’t Idolize the Theologian

There’s a temptation to let our favorite teachers do our thinking for us. But theological loyalty must never replace biblical fidelity. No matter how faithful, brilliant, or popular a pastor or scholar is, they are still fallible.

Paul rebuked the Corinthian church for this kind of party-line allegiance. Some said, “I follow Paul,” others, “I follow Apollos” (1 Cor. 1:12). His response? “Is Christ divided?” Good theologians are helpful guides, but they are not the standard. Again, God’s Word is the final authority.

Ask yourself: If Scripture clearly challenged something I learned from my favorite preacher, would I change my belief? Or would I try to twist the Bible to preserve what’s comfortable?

Letting Go of “What I’ve Always Believed”

Growth is uncomfortable. It requires humility and the willingness to admit we may have misunderstood some things. But isn’t that what being a disciple means? A disciple is a learner, a follower who is being formed, not someone who has already arrived.

When you realize a belief you’ve held is unbiblical, changing it is not betrayal, it’s obedience. In fact, clinging to tradition simply because it’s tradition can be spiritually dangerous. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for this very reason, saying, “You nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down” (Mark 7:13).

There’s no honor in being consistently wrong, but there’s great honor in being corrected by Scripture and realigning oneself with God’s truth.

In Conclusion

Growing in theology doesn’t mean becoming a know-it-all. It means becoming more like Jesus, who is the Truth. It means being shaped by God’s Word instead of popular opinion, long-held assumptions, or even beloved teachers.

So, keep growing. Keep studying. Keep submitting your thoughts to Scripture. Let your theology be reformed, always according to the Word of God. Because the goal is not to win arguments, it’s to know and worship God in Spirit and in truth (John 4:24).

And that is worth unlearning a few things.